Colorado Rockies: Rate the Rockies Bullpen, Part 2

Picture a game show setting and some cheesy music playing. Picture a crowd clapping wildly off-camera as the announcer prepares to speak. Suddenly, in a booming voice, he says, “Welcome to America’s most maddening game show … Rate the Colorado Rockies Bullpen!”

The crowd claps and the cheesy music keeps playing. It’s a beautiful sight. From behind the curtain, a well-dressed man appears. Oh my goodness, it’s famous television personality Skip Skippendale. He smiles and says, “That’s right, it’s time to…” And before he can finish the sentence, the crowd says in unison, “Rate the Rockies Bullpen!”

Skip: Welcome back folks! If you’ll remember in our last fun-filled show, you helped us rate five members of the Colorado Rockies bullpen. Today, we’ll ask you to rate the final three current members of the bullpen. It should be fun and one of you just may win a brand new car!

Crowd cheers.

Skip: Just kidding! Who do you think I am, Oprah? Come on!

Camera cuts away to focus on an elderly woman glaring at Skip.

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Skip: Anyway, let’s play Rate the Rockies Bullpen! Who’s our first candidate today?

Announcer: That would be Matt Carasiti!

The crowd murmurs.

Skip: Oh this will be a tough one for our audience to start with today. So much potential but so many runs allowed so far. Oh well. Audience, it’s time to vote! Remember, you’re voting on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 meaning you have no confidence in him whatsoever and 10 meaning he’s the next coming of Mariano Rivera.

Instrumental music plays as people begin to use the keypads at their chairs to vote. A buzzer sounds and voting ends.

Skip: OK, let’s see what we have.

Drum roll and curtain pulls back to reveal a 2.

Skip: Oof. Let’s ask a member of our audience why she voted so low. Susie from Aurora, what’s up with that low number?

Susie the Audience Member: He has a win. He has lots of potential. However, that’s all that I’ve seen so far. In seven games, he has a 12.21 ERA and 2.86 WHIP.

The audience gasps. One lady is seen just shaking her head.

Susie: I think he’s going to have a good future, but you can’t walk as many guys (six) and you’ve struck out so far (six) in just 7.1 innings of work. And Friday night against the Washington Nationals was just plain awful. Four hits and runs in an inning pitched? That just can’t happen.

The audience claps.

Skip: Thanks Susie! Mr. Announcer, who’s next on Rate the Rockies Bullpen?

Announcer: That would be Chris Rusin!

Crowd murmurs then goes quiet as it begins to ponder its vote.

Skip: Remember folks, you’re only voting on this member of the Colorado bullpen as a reliever. Try to block those seven starts of his out of your minds.

Announcer: With that 5.08 ERA in those seven starts, we’re definitely trying to do that!

Rim shot comes in.

Skip: Hey-oooo! OK, let’s see how you vote … now!

Music plays.

Buzzer sounds. Voting is done.

Drum roll and curtain pulls back to reveal a 7.

Skip: Interesting. Looks like you all were able to block out those starts. Earl from Westminster, tell us about this one.

Earl: It’s pretty simple for me. The guy has a 2-0 record and 3.00 ERA and has been called in to put out more fires than the local volunteer fire department.

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Skip: Let’s leave the jokes to me, Earl. I am a trained professional.

Earl: Yeah, OK Skip. Keep telling yourself that. Anyway, it’s strange to see how much better he is out of the pen. Batters are hitting .254 against him as a reliever and .306 as a starter. I’m hoping the Rockies continue to let him be that long reliever to come in and help the team in that role rather than keep trying to him into a starter.

Skip: You and me both, Earl. You and me both. Mr. Announcer, we are down to our final contestant on Rate the Rockies Bullpen. Who would that be?

Announcer: That would be Jake McGee!

Crowd murmurs.

Skip: Oh my goodness. What a reliever to have as the closer for today’s show. Ironic since he used to be the closer, huh? I can’t make this stuff up, people! Anyway, it’s time to vote! Let’s do it!

Music plays.

Buzzer sounds. Voting is done.

Drum roll and curtain pulls back to reveal a 4.

Skip: Oh my, I think I can feel the pain coming from the audience on this one. Tim from Louisville, we’ll let you give our last analysis of the day!

Tim: Tampa Bay won the trade.

Tim drops the microphone and walks off.

Skip: Well, OK Tim. I think we need a little more analysis than that. How about Mindy from Boulder?

Mindy: Well Skip, I think a knee injury was the death knell for McGee this season. Look back at May. McGee was nine of out 10 when it came to saves that month and had a 1.50 ERA in 13 games. He hurts his knee in a blown loss to the San Diego Padres on June 10 and nothing seems to be the same for him since. He lost his closer job and the velocity just hasn’t been there on a consistent basis.

Skip: Good points.

Mindy: I thought he might’ve been turning the corner in recent games, but he’s allowed a run in each of his last three appearances. That’s just not something that can happen from a guy who had, and I think still has, closing skills.

Skip: Mindy, I couldn’t agree more. And speaking of closing skills, it’s time for us to wrap up this edition of Rate the Rockies Bullpen!

Crowd groans.

Next: The Top 5 Shortstops in Rockies History

Skip: Hey now, turn those frowns upside down! We’ll be back with another episode once the season concludes. We’ll see you then!