One Man, One Controller, 27 Outs: Throwing a Perfect Game with Kyle Kendrick

Jul 3, 2015; Phoenix, AZ, USA; Colorado Rockies starting pitcher

(38) talks with pitching coach

(56) during the sixth inning against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Chase Field. Mandatory Credit: Matt Kartozian-USA TODAY Sports

The question humanity has longed to answer: What happens when one handsome, funny man attempts to throw a perfect game with Kyle Kendrick on a video game?

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Kyle Kendrick has had a rocky (ayy get it?) career in Colorado to say the least; the 2015 winter signing came into Thursday with an ERA of 6.00 and a 3-10 record in his 17 starts. Every Kendrick start is a worrisome, terrifying, experience where it’s a 50/50 shot of a decent start or complete deconstruction of all you believe. The only thing that I can only compare it to is playing Russian roulette which I play quite often with my Cambodian neighbors.

But that is neither here nor there. This is about a quest I created, a quest I vowed to complete. I wanted to throw a perfect game with Kyle Kendrick on MLB The Show 15. I wanted to achieve the impossible.

Reading this now, you may be laughing. They laughed at the men that wanted to go to the moon too.

To accomplish this feat, I established some ground rules. They are here:

1. I can’t adjust the difficulty. I will play on Dynamic, making the game more difficult as I progress.
2. I will not play in Coors Field. Why place myself in a stadium where massive gaps could spell the end of my journey?
3. I will quit and restart the second a hit falls, error happens, or a walk is given.
4. I HAVE to face MLB teams, I could easily face a Double-A team and get through 27, but I want to feel like I did something, like my life meant something.
5. I won’t bat. I’ll player lock to Kendrick. This will prevent defensive error and speed up the attempts.
6. If I do it, you all have to throw me a parade.

Next: Can I Actually Even Do This?