To Woody Paige, Mark Kiszla and Those Guys on Rockies Facebook:


You’re The ProblemTM

Last night, the Rockies dropped their seventh straight game and continued their historically terrible performance in the month of May.

That isn’t what this is about.

The offense continued to slump as the Rockies got a good performance out of Jordan Lyles but couldn’t muster more than one run against Robbie Ray and the Diamondbacks bullpen.

That isn’t what this is about.

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This is about you, person who comments on the Rockies Facebook after every loss with some God awful meme that you neglected your family for 2 hours to create.

This is about you, person who logs onto Twitter to ask when the Rockies will trade Tulowitzki for some handful of prospects that you’ll probably hate anyway.

This is about you, Denver Post columnists that demand the Rockies invest hundreds of millions of dollars into free agent starting pitchers that likely wouldn’t succeed in their own home ballpark.

This is about how you, not the Monforts, not the fans who buy tickets, but you are the problem.

It’s easy to be you, isn’t it? It’s easy to be a cynic. It’s easy to wait for bad things to happen and then say “I told you so.” That’s not hard at all; in fact you play a nice card for yourself. If the Rockies win, you get to say “color me shocked!” and spout positivity. But when they lose, oh when they lose, you get to act like the superior fan. You get to act like you knew all along and that anyone, ANYONE, that didn’t agree with the things you said is a kool-aid drinking member of the Monfort cult that shouldn’t be allowed near the ballpark.

You get to yell about how the Rooftop money should’ve gone to players (while ignoring source after source that proves you so inherently wrong), you get to shout down dissenting opinions with “keep riding on ’07!” and “how much are the Monforts paying you?” Life must be good for you, life must be good.

So it might hurt to hear when I tell you this, but yes, you’re the problem. Your bullying of people on comment sections of Facebook and Purple Row is actually bad for the culture of the franchise, your columns and talk show webisodes about how fans should boo the product actually hurt your cause. You’re a virus in your own movement.

See, here’s the thing, whether you like it or not you need me.

Not me specifically (though I would help) but you need the people like me. You need Purple Row, you need Purple Dino Podcast, you need RoxPile, you need Rockies Zingers, you need popular Rockies opinions. Because guess what? We have value, we have an audience. All our audience sees right now is us making fun of you.

Boy, am I ever making fun of you.

You deserve it too, you’re the Tea Party of Rockies fans. You shout and spew hatred and bully those that stand even a small margin against you. Do I want the Rockies to win? Yes, obviously. Am I frustrated with the signing of Kyle Kendrick? Anyone who follows my twitter understands my frustration with the front office decision to sign him. I’m so much closer to your side than Dick Monfort’s and yet you annoy the ever living crap out of me.

You push me away, you push us all away. Like a teen that just discovered Atheism or Ayn Rand, you won’t shut up about it long enough to let us think about it. I feel like your frustrated father wishing you’d just watch Cinemax at midnight or smoke drugs like a normal teen instead of this crap.

Stop it, just stop it. Stop with the memes, stop with the stupid columns, stop with that horrible online talk show where Woody Paige acts like he can’t sit still for 14 minutes. You’re killing your cause from the inside.

So the next time you comment on some thread about Nolan Arenado giving his bat to some kids, think about what you’re actually doing. The next time you stay up until 3 AM making memes that reference a mass cult suicide, think about what you’re actually doing.

You’re making the Monforts stronger, because you’re pushing people to their side.

You’re also giving me lots of fuel to make fun of you, which I do on a fairly consistent basis. It’s a big part of my brand now, laughing in your face. I don’t even cover your name.

It’s just sports, after all. So get ahold of yourself.

Or don’t, I love the free retweets and favorites you get me. I freakin’ live for those.

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