Hopefully you’re reading this on your day off for Presidents Day. If not, hopefully this will help you get through a little easier. On this holiday, invented in 1971 that roughly splits the difference between George Washington and Abraham Lincoln’s February birthdays, we thought it’d be fun to see who’d make the best commander in chief on the Colorado Rockies.
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We’ll be sticking to current people on the team even though Todd Helton and Larry Walker with his SpongeBob Squarepants Hall of Fame shirt swag could easily handle the job. Without further ado, happy Presidents Day, Colorado Rockies fans.
This one is a no-brainer. Charlie Blackmon is most suitable to become the president of the Untied States. Charlie looks the part of every president basically of the nineteenth century. That glorious beard most resembles Rutherford B. Hayes and James Garfield who’s looks might have inspired one another as they served successively. Beyond the grizzly look, nobody is a better ambassador for this country than Chuck Natzy. No one has better threads than Charlie.
Chuck supports the troops while looking like he could fly planes himself or fit right in on the Top Gun remake coming out this summer.
Even though he’s one of the Rockies most handsomely paid players, Chuck still drives his his 2004 Jeep Cherokee he bought in High School. He’s the fiscally responsible leader we need in these times.
Charlie has all the Teddy Roosevelt vibes. No one could carry the legacy better to the president who helped create the first national parks in this country.
Then there is this photo in all of it’s glory. Chuck Nazty is the closest thing that we will ever have to Chuck Norris.
Don’t believe me? Let the Rockies prove it.
This was supposed to be a long article about all the candidates that would be a great fit to be president. Nolan Arenado is obviously a great fit with his leadership on and off the field. Nolan is the best Rockie and easily could make the best president. Say what you will about Ian Desmond and his stint with the team but he is one of the strongest presences in that club house. He can motivate anybody in good and bad times. Then there is the skipper of this ship, Bud Black. He gave this franchise hope and helped steer in the right direction with back-to-back playoff appearances. We’re going to need him to get back there.
Let’s be real though. Chuck Nazty is the best Rockies candidate for president. In such a polarizing climate, nothing brings us together more than just the first note of The Outfield’s ‘Your Love” and the word tonight.
Only Charlie Blackmon could do that. Chuck Nazty for president.