Ranking the Colorado Rockies 2017 starters…but not in the way you think

The Colorado Rockies had a spectacular 2017 season on the field, which is why ranking them based on skill is a difficult task. Today, we will select the top 5, but not in skill. Instead, we will have a little fun ranking the top 5 most handsome Blake Street Bombers.

We were inspired to do this after NBC Sports ranked all of the Major League managers according to handsomeness. By the way, Bud Black finished seventh. Not too shabby.

For our contest, here are the contestants:

Pitcher: Jon Gray

Pitcher: Kyle Freeland

Pitcher: Jeff Hoffman

Pitcher: German Marquez

Pitcher: Tyler Chatwood

Pitcher: Pat Neshek. Just kidding, he is one of the scariest people anyone has ever seen

Catcher: Tony Wolters

First Base: Mark Reynolds

Second Base: DJ LeMahieu

Third Base: Nolan Arenado

Shortstop: Trevor Story

Left Field: Gerardo Parra

Center Field: Charlie Blackmon

Right Field: Carlos Gonzalez

#5: Jon Gray

A lot of people take for granted the majestic flow that falls from the head from the Rockies main ace. Maybe it is more fascinating than handsome, but we’ll just go for it and slot him in the top 5.

#4: Nolan Arenado

It was probably more heart than it was head, but watching Nolan get pumped more than any other player in baseball after a Father’s Day walk-off is more than enough to make it on this handsome list. Also, he’s got a somewhat intriguing goatee going on.

#3: Charlie Blackmon

Many people look at Charlie Blackmon and ask: who in the world likes a beard like that? We do. Does he look like a pirate? Sure, but that doesn’t mean he can’t rock the beard and mullet worthy of putting him up with the great Jack Sparrow.

#2: Carlos Gonzalez

Like Arenado, Gonzalez may not be on this list entirely for just being handsome. Unlike Arenado, it is not because of his production at all. Instead, it is more the fact that CarGo can play completely terrible in the field and make it look like he’s the smoothest player in the entire league. And when he does get a hold of a ball, it is maybe the prettiest swing in the league.

#1: Trevor Story

Let’s wrap this up in one sentence: have you ever looked at Trevor Story and thought to yourself he reminds you of that jock from high school? The answer to that is yes, you have.