Ranking the Colorado Rockies 2017 starters…but not in the way you think
By JD Jensen
The Colorado Rockies had a spectacular 2017 season on the field, which is why ranking them based on skill is a difficult task. Today, we will select the top 5, but not in skill. Instead, we will have a little fun ranking the top 5 most handsome Blake Street Bombers.
We were inspired to do this after NBC Sports ranked all of the Major League managers according to handsomeness. By the way, Bud Black finished seventh. Not too shabby.
For our contest, here are the contestants:
Pitcher: Jon Gray
Pitcher: Kyle Freeland
Pitcher: Jeff Hoffman
Pitcher: German Marquez
Pitcher: Tyler Chatwood
Pitcher: Pat Neshek. Just kidding, he is one of the scariest people anyone has ever seen
Catcher: Tony Wolters
First Base: Mark Reynolds
Second Base: DJ LeMahieu
Third Base: Nolan Arenado
Shortstop: Trevor Story
Left Field: Gerardo Parra
Center Field: Charlie Blackmon
Right Field: Carlos Gonzalez
#5: Jon Gray
A lot of people take for granted the majestic flow that falls from the head from the Rockies main ace. Maybe it is more fascinating than handsome, but we’ll just go for it and slot him in the top 5.
#4: Nolan Arenado
It was probably more heart than it was head, but watching Nolan get pumped more than any other player in baseball after a Father’s Day walk-off is more than enough to make it on this handsome list. Also, he’s got a somewhat intriguing goatee going on.
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#3: Charlie Blackmon
Many people look at Charlie Blackmon and ask: who in the world likes a beard like that? We do. Does he look like a pirate? Sure, but that doesn’t mean he can’t rock the beard and mullet worthy of putting him up with the great Jack Sparrow.
#2: Carlos Gonzalez
Like Arenado, Gonzalez may not be on this list entirely for just being handsome. Unlike Arenado, it is not because of his production at all. Instead, it is more the fact that CarGo can play completely terrible in the field and make it look like he’s the smoothest player in the entire league. And when he does get a hold of a ball, it is maybe the prettiest swing in the league.
Next: The Rockies made some moves to replenish the bullpen at the Winter Meetings
#1: Trevor Story
Let’s wrap this up in one sentence: have you ever looked at Trevor Story and thought to yourself he reminds you of that jock from high school? The answer to that is yes, you have.