Colorado Rockies Old Friend: How The Hell Is Juan Uribe Still Playing?

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Aug 9, 2015; St. Petersburg, FL, USA; New York Mets third baseman J. Uribe (2) is congratulated by teammates in the dugout after scoring a run during the second inning against the Tampa Bay Rays at Tropicana Field. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Ok, so there you have it, guys. Juan Uribe is a freak.

He’s, like, the anti LaTroy Hawkins — he’ll probably play another five years to match LaTroy, and yet, Uribe doesn’t take care of his body in the freakishly professional way LaTroy does.

(No offense Juan, but you’re, um, relatively pudgy compared to the immaculate shape in which LaTroy maintains himself.)

How can you hate that, though? Between Juan and Bartolo Colon, I am kinda starting to like the Mets (good God). They have all the fun guys now, like, the kind of fun that you love to root for because they are a little ridiculous but you’re also mystified because they are still good at baseball, seemingly against all odds related to age and body type and health and everything else.

Anyways, is this weird? Uribe is only 36 years old. But it feels like he’s about 51, considering how long ago he came up with the Rockies, and how many teams he’s been on since he was in Denver.

And maybe this isn’t even that notable, since Uribe was so young when he came up with the Rockies in ’01 (22 years old), but then again, Chacon, Jennings, Pierre, and Petrick were all right around his age, and all were out of baseball long ago.

Maybe the Rox will bring Uribe back next year! Or maybe he’ll play another ten years because he’s really an ageless witch.

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