Colorado Rockies Old Friend: How The Hell Is Juan Uribe Still Playing?

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Aug 3, 2015; Miami, FL, USA; New York Mets third baseman J. Uribe (right) talks with teammates in the dugout during the first inning against the Miami Marlins at Marlins Park. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

The former Colorado Rockies infielder won’t go away — not that this is a bad thing, because he’s cool, but goodness gracious, Juan!

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Juan Uribe is literally the ageless wonder — or, since he’s only (“only”) 36 years old, maybe it just feels that way because he played for the Colorado Rockies so damn long ago. Like, in 2001.

No, but seriously, he literally played for the Rockies as a 22-year old in 2001, hitting .300/.325/.524, and that was, like, two-hundred years ago. (Or at least it seems that way.)

I decided instead of doing some post about Juan Uribe and what he’s doing now (he plays for the Mets, in case you hadn’t been watching the Rockies’ series in New York this week), that I’d rather compile a list of all the guys Uribe played with in Denver in 2001, as well as the last time they played professional baseball.

Here you go.

Next: The Hitters... Nobody But Uribe

Jun 2, 2015; Phoenix, AZ, USA; Atlanta Braves third baseman J. Uribe (2) is congratulated by teammates in the dugout after scoring in the sixth inning against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Chase Field. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Juan Uribe (22 years old in 2001) — ACTIVE
Uribe is playing with the New York Mets — he was traded twice this year, after beginning with the Los Angeles Dodgers and working his way through the Atlanta Braves. All told, he’s had nearly 6,400 big league plate appearances.

Ben Petrick (24) — Retired
Petrick is now out of the game, though of course it wasn’t his choice.

Todd Helton — Retired
Todd, of course, retired after the 2013 season. He recently enjoyed “Todd Helton Day” at the Rockies’ rookie-level Grand Junction affiliate, which is cool.

Todd Walker — Retired
Walker was done after 18 games in 2007 with the Oakland Athletics. Also, he played parts of two seasons in Colorado and hit .304/.363/.514 so we probably should have kept him around a bit longer at second base.

Neifi Perez — Retired
What do you say about a guy like Neifi? Oh, yeah — that his numbers outside of Colorado never matched what he did with the Rockies, and he was out of baseball after 2007.

Jeff Cirillo — Retired
Cirillo, coming off a massive 2000 season with the Rockies, had a solid 2001 (he slashed .313/.364/.473) and after the season was traded to the Mariners for Brian Fuentes, Jose Paniagua, and Denny Stark. He retired after 2007.

Ron Gant — Retired
Gant was at the end of a long, successful career when he came to Denver for part of the 2001 season. He was out of the game by 2003 with the Athletics, and went into broadcasting afterwards.

Juan Pierre (23) — Retired
JP!!! Juan Pierre was one of my favorite players growing up, because he worked so hard and was always so prepared. He was the only one to come close to over taking Uribe on this list, retiring after 2013 with the Marlins, though don’t you think with the shape he was in that he could’ve caught on somewhere in the last two years?

Larry Walker — Retired
Y’all already know.

Terry Shumpert — Retired
Shumpert has since retired (2003, with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays), but he’s got a kid who’s pretty decent at baseball.

Greg Norton — Retired
Norton is now an assistant coach at Auburn University! The pinch-hitter extraordinaire retired in 2009 with the Atlanta Braves.

Brent Mayne — Retired
Mayne retired in ’04 as a member of the Dodgers after a 15-year big league career. His seasons in Colorado were the best offensive seasons of his life (though that’s true of most players, and he also was no offensive slouch — for a catcher — the rest of the way, anyways).

Next: The Pitchers... All Gone!

Jun 9, 2015; Atlanta, GA, USA; The sun sets as Atlanta Braves J. Uribe (2) watches from the dugout in the third inning of their game against the San Diego Padres at Turner Field. Mandatory Credit: Jason Getz-USA TODAY Sports

Mike Hampton — Retired
Can’t ever fault Hampton for how hard he worked to keep coming back to baseball after serious injuries. He finished out his career in 2010, throwing 4.2 scoreless innings with the Astros before hanging ’em up.

Denny Neagle — Retired
You should actually read this interview that we did with Denny Neagle to see what he’s doing now!

Shawn Chacon (23) — Retired
Chacon last played baseball in 2008 with the Houston Astros. Never forget that his last game as a big leaguer came around because he choked his general manager half to death.

Pedro Astacio — Retired
Astacio had a nice, long career including five season in Denver. He retired in 2006 as a member of the Nationals organization, and has recently been a Spring Training coach for the Rockies.

Brian Bohanon — Retired
The 2001 season with the Rockies was Bohanon’s last in baseball. Fun fact: the high school baseball field I played on at George Washington High School in Denver, Colorado is named Brian Bohanon Field. At least, it was when I was there in 2004, so I assume it might still be…?

John Thomson — Retired
Thomson actually had a couple of decent years for the Rockies (1997, 1998) and one really bad one (1999), but overall had a decent career in Colorado. Overall, Thomson started 212 games in the big leagues, his last two coming for the Royals in 2007.

Jose Jimenez — Retired
Jimenez had one of those weird careers; he threw a no-hitter as a rookie with the Cardinals, closed for a few years (often unsuccessfully) with the Rockies, and then he was out of baseball by his 30th birthday. He left the game in 2004 after going 1-7 with an 8.42 ERA closing (!!) for the Indians.

Kane Davis — Retired
Davis also had a weird career. He played parts of five season in the big leagues, never pitching in more than 15 Major League games in a season, except for his one shining moment — 2001 with the Colorado Rockies. He threw 57 of his career 107 games that season. He bounced between independent leagues, AAA, and very short big league stints from 2003-2010, before retiring.

Gabe White — Retired
White was somewhat of a veteran by the time he came to Denver, and finished his career relatively soon after the 2001 season — in 2005, with a few games with the Cardinals, and another handful with the club’s AAA affiliate in Memphis.

Justin Speier — Retired
Speier ended up having a really nice career as a relief pitcher. He last threw for the Los Angeles Angels in 2009

Mike Myers — Retired
Myers last threw for the Yankees and Red Sox in 2007, then spent part of 2008 in AAA Las Vegas in the Dodgers organization before calling it quits. In all, the lefty specialist tossed in 883 big league games so… he wasn’t a slouch.

Ron Villone — Retired
Villone (who only played for the Rockies for part of 2001, and was terrible) ended his big league career with the Nationals in 2009. He pitched in independent leagues as late as 2011 (Somerset, Atlantic League) but that’s all for the now 45-year old.

Jason Jennings (22) — Retired
Jennings debuted the same year that Uribe did, and yet was out of the big leagues by 2009. He threw in the minor leagues for the Athletics in 2010, pitched in 19 games for Grand Prairie of the independent American Association as a 32-year old in 2011, and that was it for him in baseball.

Next: Will Juan Uribe Play Forever?

Aug 9, 2015; St. Petersburg, FL, USA; New York Mets third baseman J. Uribe (2) is congratulated by teammates in the dugout after scoring a run during the second inning against the Tampa Bay Rays at Tropicana Field. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Ok, so there you have it, guys. Juan Uribe is a freak.

He’s, like, the anti LaTroy Hawkins — he’ll probably play another five years to match LaTroy, and yet, Uribe doesn’t take care of his body in the freakishly professional way LaTroy does.

(No offense Juan, but you’re, um, relatively pudgy compared to the immaculate shape in which LaTroy maintains himself.)

How can you hate that, though? Between Juan and Bartolo Colon, I am kinda starting to like the Mets (good God). They have all the fun guys now, like, the kind of fun that you love to root for because they are a little ridiculous but you’re also mystified because they are still good at baseball, seemingly against all odds related to age and body type and health and everything else.

Anyways, is this weird? Uribe is only 36 years old. But it feels like he’s about 51, considering how long ago he came up with the Rockies, and how many teams he’s been on since he was in Denver.

And maybe this isn’t even that notable, since Uribe was so young when he came up with the Rockies in ’01 (22 years old), but then again, Chacon, Jennings, Pierre, and Petrick were all right around his age, and all were out of baseball long ago.

Maybe the Rox will bring Uribe back next year! Or maybe he’ll play another ten years because he’s really an ageless witch.

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