Colorado Rockies Rewind: A 2007 Season Preview

Writer/Editor Note: April 1, 2022 is the 15th anniversary of FanSided. Rox Pile was established a few years later in January 2010 with the great David Martin (@RockiesReview on Twitter) publishing the first post on January 15, 2010. To honor the anniversary of FanSided and April Fool’s Day, we are looking back on a (hypothetical) season preview of the Colorado Rockies that is filled with plenty of Easter eggs.

The 2007 Colorado Rockies are a team that is a bit perplexing. In 2006, they went 76-86, which was a nine-game improvement over the 2005 team.

You just know that the Rockies are going to hit because they play at Coors Field and every baseball player can hit well at Coors so that will never, ever be an issue for the team. I mean, Todd Helton, Garrett Atkins, Matt Holliday, and Brad Hawpe: you just know they will mash.

The biggest problem on the diamond may be at shortstop. The Rockies are going to be relying on a prospect who only hit .240 in his debut last year and never even played a single game at Triple-A Colorado Springs. If the Rockies are even in contention, they may have to look to improve at the position at the trade deadline.

The main problem for the Colorado Rockies: they can’t pitch

The Colorado Rockies have a good closer with Brian Fuentes and they just signed veteran LaTroy Hawkins this offseason to replace José Mesa as the team’s setup man but outside of that, who knows what they can do?

They traded Jason Jennings, who was awful because he went 9-13. Aaron Cook went 9-15 too so that right there tells you that they are not very good. Jeff Francis was okay since he went 13-11 and Josh Fogg went 11-9.

The only saving grace for the Rockies will be that they are in the NL West.

The Dodgers got pounded by the Mets in the NLDS last year and they didn’t do much this offseason so they probably won’t be great this year. They have only won one playoff game since they won the World Series in 1988 and manager Grady Little isn’t going to help matters.

The Padres won 88 games last year and were tied for the best record in the West with the Dodgers. They signed Greg Maddux but he’s over-the-hill and they didn’t so much. They also signed Marcus Giles, who will join his brother, Brian, who is their right fielder. He’s a good hitter who has a great throwing arm. He can throw anybody out on a play at the plate.

Their biggest issue is their managerial situation. Bruce Bochy left to join the Giants and they replaced him with former Angels pitching coach Bud Black. Why the Padres would go with a former pitcher as a manager is anyone’s guess so expect them to regress.

The Giants stink. They have Barry Bonds but they haven’t made it to the playoffs since 2003. They also haven’t won a World Series since they were in New York so don’t expect them to. Bochy is overrated as a manager anyway (he has a record below .500).

The D-Backs stink too. They went 76-86 last year too but they can’t hit at all. Randy Johnson isn’t the same Randy Johnson anymore. They won’t be a factor at all in the West.

The Colorado Rockies probably won’t be contenders still, though, because of the pitching staff. You just know they will hit but they can never pitch, which is why the Rockies always have a hard time making the playoffs and this year will be no exception.