Characteristics shared by Colorado Rockies players and Darth Vader

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LONDON, ENGLAND – DECEMBER 18: (EDITORS NOTE: Image has been converted to black and white) Darth Vader at the European premiere of “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” at Cineworld Leicester Square on December 18, 2019 in London, England. (Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images for Disney) /

May the Fourth be with all of you, Colorado Rockies fans! In honor of the Star Wars-themed day, let’s take a look at how we could take some characteristics of Rockies players and build Darth Vader.

Oh I know, it’s hard to see how some of the characteristics within some of your favorite Colorado Rockies players could even be considered as part of Lord Vader’s dark and sinister emotional armamentarium. But stick with me on this one and see what you think.

After doing some research on Darth Vader’s characteristics, I like one of the lines used on this site, where they say that Darth Vader was cold, brutal, and ruthless toward his enemies. I’ll go ahead and use Nolan Arenado on the field as an equivalent here. There are few that bring with him an intensity at the plate and in the field to take down the opposition as much as Colorado’s Platinum Glove winner.

I’ll have to admit I immediately flashed to the San Francisco Giants as Arenado’s “enemies” with how many times he has seemingly destroyed them with a big hit (or Father’s Day walkoff home run for the cycle) or amazing play (just give me the tarp catch on forever loop).

DENVER, CO – SEPTEMBER 02: Trevor Story #27 of the Colorado Rockies throws to first base after fielding a ground ball by A.J. Pollock #11 of the Arizona Diamondbacks in the eighth inning at Coors Field on September 2, 2017 in Denver, Colorado. Arizona won 6-2. (Photo by Joe Mahoney/Getty Images) /

Another thing about Darth Vader? We knew the guy had the Force flowing through him at a very young age. I mean, long before he turned the dark side, Anakin Skywalker was showing how he could not only use his skills in pod racing, but also have the Force make those skills even more complete as he grew older. There’s a reason why Obi-Wan Kenobi said of Anakin, “He was the best star pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior.”

With that in mind, give me Trevor Story in terms of using the Force at a young age and improving with it as he gets older (as well as having that warrior mentality). At the age of 23, Story made his historic Major League debut. Despite playing in just 97 games that season as a thumb injury sidelined him, Story finished fourth in the Rookie of the Year balloting.

I mean, come on, Story was showing the Force already as 2016’s spring training came to a close.

Now preparing for his fourth season, Story is coming off two consecutive All-Star Game appearances and Silver Slugger wins. He’s also on the verge of winning his first Gold Glove.

You may have forgotten with all of the COVID-19 news in recent weeks, but the Rockies inked Story to a two-year, $27.5 million contract over the offseason that will make him the third-highest-paid Rockies player in 2021 (behind Nolan Arenado and Charlie Blackmon). Finding a way to keep Story beyond the 2021 season (as well as Arenado with his now-infamous opt-out clause) is one of the biggest tasks that lies ahead for Rockies management.

Anakin may have been the star pilot in the galaxy, and Story has already been dubbed as MLB’s best shortstop by MLB Network’s Shredder. Yes, the Force is very strong in this one. Let’s just hope we never see Story turn to the dark side and play somewhere else.

DENVER, COLORADO – MAY 03: Charlie Blackmon #19 of the Colorado Rockies circle the bases after hitting a 2 RBI home run in the ninth inning against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Coors Field on May 03, 2019 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images) /

Let’s face it … Darth Vader didn’t put up with much failure. When a mistake by Admiral Ozzel alerts the Rebels to the Empire’s presence, Lord Vader subsequently takes care of the Admiral and makes sure he will never disappoint him again.

Before Vader disposes of Ozzel, however, he makes sure to let everyone know exactly how he feels about him. “He’s as clumsy as he is stupid,” is one of Vader’s best lines in the entire saga, in my humble opinion.

You know who else has some great one-liners? Charlie Blackmon. You know who else doesn’t take too kindly to failure? Charlie Blackmon.

More from Colorado Rockies News

Let’s not forget in this great article by Nick Groke of The Athletic how Blackmon got tired of the Rockies having the “Coors hangover” after leaving Denver on a road trip. He not only set up a system to hopefully help beat the effects of hitting after leaving altitude, but started getting the rest of the Rockies players and coaches on board as well.

Blackmon saw a problem being repeated and had enough. He was tired of the ball using jedi mind tricks to elude Colorado bats so he took steps to eliminate it. OK, maybe it wasn’t as dire as Vader trying to wipe out the rebel scum, but you get the point.

Chuck Nazty is also revered throughout the organization for his tireless dedication to his routine and making sure he always stays on top of his game. Failure is not a friend of Blackmon’s.

As for those one-liners…

Charlie Blackmon quotes Michael Scott during ASG interview from r/ColoradoRockies

DENVER, COLORADO – MAY 30: Ian Desmond #20 of the Colorado Rockies celebrates in the dugout after hitting a solo home run in the eighth inning against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Coors Field on May 30, 2019 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images) /

I’ll start wrapping things up with two other characteristics from Lord Vader.

First, let’s go with the voice. While he’s certainly no James Earl Jones, give me Ian Desmond for this role. Desmond has one of those calm and collected voices but there is also plenty of intent behind what he says when he says something.

Second, Darth Vader is certainly known for choking plenty of people. “I find your lack of faith disturbing” is one of his most well-known lines as he made his presence and power felt in Episode IV: A New Hope. Just one motion of the hand can bring on a choking noise in his enemies.

Next. The top 10 Rockies killers of the past decade. dark

Choking … as a characteristic … with the Rockies? I’ll let you decide which member of the bullpen you’d like to put into that role.

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May the Fourth be with all of you, Colorado Rockies fans! In honor of the Star Wars-themed day, let’s take a look at how we could take some characteristics of Rockies players and build Darth Vader.

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