Colorado Rockies: Ranking the Rockies’ facial hair

As of the time of this writing, Major League Baseball has yet to formalize any plans for an official return to action in 2020. The season is still on hold due to the COVID-19 pandemic, so why not have a little fun while we wait?

I will graduate from Arizona State University’s Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication with a degree in sports journalism this May. During my time as a journalism student, I was afforded the opportunity to briefly cover Major League spring training for the first time this past Spring before the sports world, and society as a whole, ground to a relative halt.

The sports reporters in my class during my final semester were all assigned one of the 15 clubs that call Arizona home during MLB’s preseason. Along with a few others, I was sent to Hohokam Stadium to cover the Oakland Athletics for the duration of spring training.

One of my fellow student-reporters, Victoria Stibrik, published a story for The Mercury News about the numerous different hairstyles modeled by A’s players throughout the season. She did a great job, and you can read it here.

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Her story inspired me to do the same, with a slight tweak.

Without further ado, here is my official top 10 list of facial hairstyles on the 2020 Colorado Rockies active roster.

Coming in at No. 10, starting pitcher Antonio Senzatela. The Venezuela native has kept his classic mustache-beard combination ever since his impressive Major League debut on April 6, 2017, and it’s working for him. There isn’t anything too crazy going on here, but he’s since let the goatee grow out a tad more, an improvement on an already solid look.

The No. 9 spot belongs to third baseman Nolan Arenado. We’ve seen the perennial MVP-candidate blossom from a clean-shaven rookie to sporting his current scruffy mustache and chinstrap beard duo. It’s not always a well-kept look, but he owns it and wears it with pride. Fast-forward to 3:19 of his 2017 All-Star Game interview on Intentional Talk to hear his reaction on his appearance from a previous episode.

Arenado’s cousin, Josh Fuentes, slides in at No. 8. Fuentes, a natural infielder, doesn’t solely take after his relative on the diamond. His facial hair has a similar look to Arenado’s as well. Fuentes, though, gets the boost due to the degree to which he keeps his hair groomed. A much neater mustache and trimmed beard makes for a cleaner look overall, giving him the slight edge over Arenado.

Next, we move back to the mound for the No. 7 spot, where we recognize German Márquez. The flame-throwing righty isn’t one for a mustache, but he more than makes up for it with the beard. He keeps it at its fullest under the chin, and it gets shorter on either side as it crawls up to his ears. Not unlike Senzatela, Márquez has kept mostly the same look since he broke into the Majors, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Now it’s time for one of my personal favorites. I needed at least one mustache guy, and reliever James Pazos represents well at No. 6. He’s not messing around with the beard, the mustache is good enough for Gilbert, Ariz., native. Not everyone can pull it off, but his is well-maintained and full enough to earn a spot on my list. I’ll let the Seattle Mariners take it from here.

Rookie sensation Brendan Rodgers kicks off the top five. Of everyone I’ve highlighted so far, his style is most similar to Senzatela’s, with a slightly fuller volume. I know this is a list focusing on facial hair, but I’m going to break the rules and give Rodgers bonus points for the mullet as well. This is an organization well versed in mullets, most notably when the style was modeled by former shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, as well as current outfielder and fan-favorite Charlie Blackmon (more on him later). Rodgers can absolutely compete with “Tulo” in that department.

My No. 4 spot belongs to Ian Desmond. While his productivity on the diamond has been hotly debated since his arrival in the Mile High City, the same cannot be said about his appearance. He keeps his beard and mustache just long enough to be noticeable, but short enough to avoid masking his chiseled jawline. He makes a strong case to land in the top three, but not quite.