Aldous Snow (played by Russell Brand): The Los Angeles Dodgers
They’re famous. Everyone knows who they are and for some reason, they just love them. They’re so talented and that’s something you just absolutely hate because they just happen to succeed with everything they do, no matter what. It’s terrible.
They’re such characters with nearly everything they do and man, it just makes you wanna land one right on each and every one of their punchable faces. Man, are they punchable.
But worst of all? Reality’s hanging out with them and they’re having a great time. They’ve BEEN having a great time and it’s been behind your back! Reality’s tagging along for their playoff appearances and multiple division titles and do they really deserve it? Well probably, but Sorrow Suckers are the worst (we don’t know why we call them that).
They’ll have to deal with pain, though. And we’re gonna enjoy it. Some coral got stuck in your leg on a crash? We’ll let it sit there an extra second. Some teams stole signs and probably a World Series from you not once, but twice? That sucks, but are we mad it happened to you?