The 2020 Colorado Rockies and Forgetting Sarah Marshall: A Comparison

DENVER, CO - SEPTEMBER 1: Nolan Arenado #28 of the Colorado Rockies celebrates after hitting a sixth inning solo home run against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Coors Field on September 1, 2019 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images)
DENVER, CO - SEPTEMBER 1: Nolan Arenado #28 of the Colorado Rockies celebrates after hitting a sixth inning solo home run against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Coors Field on September 1, 2019 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images) /
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LOS ANGELES – APRIL 10: Actor and comedian Russell Brand arrives at the premiere of Universal Picture’s “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” at the Chinese Theater on April 10, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES – APRIL 10: Actor and comedian Russell Brand arrives at the premiere of Universal Picture’s “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” at the Chinese Theater on April 10, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images) /

Aldous Snow (played by Russell Brand): The Los Angeles Dodgers

They’re famous. Everyone knows who they are and for some reason, they just love them. They’re so talented and that’s something you just absolutely hate because they just happen to succeed with everything they do, no matter what. It’s terrible.

They’re such characters with nearly everything they do and man, it just makes you wanna land one right on each and every one of their punchable faces. Man, are they punchable.

But worst of all? Reality’s hanging out with them and they’re having a great time. They’ve BEEN having a great time and it’s been behind your back! Reality’s tagging along for their playoff appearances and multiple division titles and do they really deserve it? Well probably, but Sorrow Suckers are the worst (we don’t know why we call them that).

They’ll have to deal with pain, though. And we’re gonna enjoy it. Some coral got stuck in your leg on a crash? We’ll let it sit there an extra second. Some teams stole signs and probably a World Series from you not once, but twice? That sucks, but are we mad it happened to you?

Hahahaha….no.

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