The 2020 Colorado Rockies and Forgetting Sarah Marshall: A Comparison

LOS ANGELES – APRIL 10: Actors Kristen Bell (L) and Russell Brand arrive at the premiere of Universal Picture’s “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” at the Chinese Theater on April 10, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

Sarah Marshall: Reality

All Nolan Arenado wants is a shot at the playoffs. Sarah Marshall (portrayed by Kristen Bell) is not gonna let that happen, though.

Reality sucks. It’s out there with someone bigger and more famous. Truth is it’s been with them for a lot longer than we’d like to know. And as our antagonist, reality is the devil.

Reality doesn’t care about our vision of a Dracula musical with puppets (or just wanting to get a few wins in the playoffs, whatever). Reality is out there doing its thing starring in Baseball Games: Games of Baseball. Reality wants chaos. Reality wants trade rumors popping up from completely unsubstantiated sources and verified Twitter accounts falling for them and the rest of social media going nuts over literal fake news.

It was kind to Nolan before. It tolerated him. Now it’s running around the red carpet and Nolan’s been reduced to the Mutumbo that no one wants in the shot.

It may not be the worst thing for Nolan, though. It forces him out of his comfort zone and it means he’s going to find other opportunities. It never understood his songs, anyways. It got him terrible gifts and has been lying to him for years. Who wants that?

Reality sucks. No one wants to face it because it’s just so terrible. Soon enough, though, it turns around and reality gets what it deserves.

Schedule