One Man, One Controller, 27 Outs: Throwing a Perfect Game with Kyle Kendrick

Apr 11, 2015; Denver, CO, USA; Colorado Rockies starting pitcher Kyle Kendrick (38) reacts after walking a batter during the second inning against the Chicago Cubs at Coors Field. Mandatory Credit: Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

Try 23: Rockies at Binghamton Mets

The Double A stadiums are smaller, they don’t have such an expansive outfield, maybe I should’ve been doing this all along. The Double A lineup is so much easier to manage, they will swing at more pitches out of the zone, get fooled on more change-ups. I can’t help but feel this is it. The sun is shining on my face, I will accomplish this journey.

I give up a lead-off single.

I quit.

The Aftermath

I don’t know if this is any good, part of me doesn’t want to post it. Is it even funny? Should I throw in some jokes about Kendrick or Bob Costas announcing my games?

I just know that I spent a night of my life as a single young man in my home attempting to essentially beat a video game. Kyle Kendrick is probably going to throw a perfect game this year now just to spite me, just to show me that he can do in real life what I failed to do in a fantasy world.

I put on an episode of Futurama and slowly laugh my way out of his haze. I tried to run with giants and I was trampled at their feet.

I cannot throw a perfect game with Kyle Kendrick, no matter how hard I try. I guess I could make him all 99 overall, go on Rookie mode, and strike everyone out. But I could just throw a perfect game with Clayton Kershaw if that was what I wanted to do. This was about taking puny Kyle Kendrick and putting him to the ultimate test, 27 outs in a row.

The world will never know that glory, not today at least.

F*** Ben Revere.