In Defense of Dinger

connorj89
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The famous mascot of the Rockies came under attack last week, but is he so bad?

Last week, Denver Post columnist Benjamin Hochman wrote a slanderous attack on Rockies mascot and American hero Dinger the dinosaur.

Dinger has long been in the spotlight of controversy since his inception in 1995. In 2010, a Rockies fan wrote a letter to the Denver Post crying for the mascot to be eliminated and in 2007 during the lone pennant run in franchise history a young fan said Dinger “ wasn’t ferocious enough” to be a dinosaur.

Well folks, all of these stories have one thing in common.

They’re all stupid.

Dinger is a dinosaur because the Rockies discovered dinosaur bones when excavating the site that Coors Field now sits on. That’s an awesome story, the Phillies didn’t discover Phanatic bones under their stadium, the Padres didn’t discover some goofy faced man of God waiting for them at Qualcomm. The Rockies have a unique and creative background to their mascot, one that no other team in their city can boast. I’m sorry you want to attack Dinger for standing behind the plate but not Miles for doing his stupid lightning dance when the Broncos score?

Or how about Bernie the Avalanche mascot that is a Saint Bernard, a dog famous for SAVING people from an AVALANCHE? I’m all for keeping with themes but are we supposed to be saving people from an Avalanche? No we want to bury them in goals and Patrick Roy trash talk. Get it together.

So why does Dinger get the hate? He’s just a dinosaur who wants to love. Maybe it’s us turning our hate for the Monforts onto something else, something more real. Heck, it’s easier to hate Dinger than our DUI attaining, e-mail hatred spouting owners isn’t it? He’s more human and we expect better from Dinger than we do billionaires.

The moped riding dinosaur gets the most hate for seemingly nothing. In the 2010 letter, the writer attacked Dinger for not doing anything funny or creative. Oh I’m sorry Mr.” Dinosaurs Dancing on a Dugout Isn’t Funny to Me” maybe the Comedy Works down the block is more your style. I didn’t know we went to baseball games to hear jokes from 7 foot tall prehistoric beasts, I thought we went to get mad at the bullpen and/or drink Coors Light and pretend to enjoy it!

Hochman attacks Dingers character and actions in a fit of jealousy that I can only attribute to him not having a Snarf’s sandwich in a while. He states that Dinger’s actions are “bush league” and that his actions of watching pitchers in the 9th is “like Rob Lowe watching people swim”. The narrative that Dinger is a bad mascot is as tired as the commercial Hochman references. We GET IT. Rob Lowe is handsome and never ages and cable is bad for you. But is Rob Lowe going to foot the bill when direcTV “accidentally” charges me for NFL Sunday Ticket even when I specifically said no? Is Rob Lowe going to sit on hold for me while I wait for “Frank” from “Milwaukee” to come back and tell me FXX isn’t in the “premium channel subscription but in a different premium channel subscription for only eight dollars more a month”? Is Ben Hochman going to provide us with a clever mascot idea to overtake Dinger?

No, he isn’t. And just like I’m going to have to wait for The League to come on Netflix to have any conversations with my friends, Ben is going to have to suffer through Dinger.

Because he rules and he isn’t going anywhere, Dinger for life friends.

Stay strong.

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