Colorado Rockies Hot or Not: Week 5

May 1, 2015; San Diego, CA, USA; Colorado Rockies starting pitcher Eddie Butler (31) pitches during the second inning against the San Diego Padres at Petco Park. Mandatory Credit: Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

It’s been a tough week to judge who’s hot and who’s not with the Colorado Rockies since, well, almost every damn game got rained out.

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Open up your Tinder apps again, kids, and post some more pictures that make you look a little tanner, a littler thinner, and a little cooler than we all know you actually are. But don’t worry! It’s the Internet! Everybody lies!

The only things that don’t lie, of course, are politicians* and statistics. So as we judge the hots and the not-so-hots this week, remember: the stats tell all (even if those stats are a very, very small sample because the Rockies had 39 games rained out over the last seven days).

SWIPE RIGHT ON…

Eddie Butler. Butler took the loss Friday night in the rain-shortened game, but he (a) threw a complete game (5.1 innings, don’t care, doesn’t matter, still counts!), and more importantly, (b) settled down a lot after his first inning where he allowed two hits, two walks, and two runs. He’s still allowing a concerning number of base runners – and specifically, walks – but six starts into 2015, Butler has proven he can keep the Rockies in ball games.

Jordan Lyles. Lyles tossed seven innings Wednesday in game two of the doubleheader against the Diamondbacks, bailing out the Rockies’ bullpen and throwing much better than his fate (a 5-1 loss in which he gave up four runs on nine hits and just one walk). Save one bad start in Arizona, Lyles is throwing very well for the Rockies and is about as close to an ace as this club has seen all year.

Wilin Rosario. He came back partly because of the poor play of Tyler Matzek (see below), but he hit well at AAA Albuquerque and got enough of a feel at first base playing everyday that the team obviously felt he could benefit in Denver. Now, let’s see if he’s here to stay, or is being showcased as a trade piece that could be gone in the next few weeks.

Christian Bergman. He did walk three (groan), but he threw two scoreless innings Sunday against the Dodgers, and you should swipe right on him because he’s probably in line to pick up Matzek’s starts when the Rockies need a fifth starter again later this week. He got tagged by the Diamondbacks earlier this week (though after a tough play by Troy Tulowitzki that was originally ruled an error, and later changed a hit), but overall this year he’s been… ok. And for this staff, right now, ok looks… great.

Chad Bettis. Your other candidate for the rotation, presumably, now that Matzek’s in Albuquerque for a bit. He’s throwing the ball pretty well in ABQ. Get happy?

Yohan Flande. I know, I’ve already written twice about him recently, and I know, he’s in freakin’ AA, but the guy just tossed a one-hit complete game shutout and is now 5-0 in six starts with a 1.36 ERA. Nothing went right for the Rockies this week, but everything is going right for Flande down in AA. Can we call him up yet?

SWIPE LEFT ON…

Tyler Matzek. Six walks in two-plus innings against Arizona in game one on Wednesday resulted in a demotion to Albuquerque. It’ll be interesting to see how he fares there, and how soon he returns to Denver, considering the bouts of wildness he’d already suffered in his minor league career and now his lack of command at the big league level.

Carlos Gonzalez. Two hits in four games this week; he’s still lost at the plate as his slump has now extended ~~multiple weeks~~ since pretty much the game after the opening series of the year in Milwaukee.

Drew Stubbs. I know, he hit a home run this week, and his two hits all year (!) are home runs, but he doesn’t appear any closer to figuring it out at the plate.

Everybody. EVERYBODY. SWIPE LEFT ON EVERYBODY. THE ROCKIES HAVE LOST NINE IN A ROW AND 15 OF 19. SWIPE LEFT ON EVERYBODY AND THEN BLOCK THEM ON TINDER FOR GOOD MEASURE (or something?).

The weather. Screw you, weather.

*you goof balls, politicians lie more than anyone else on the face of the earth.

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