Five Insane Rockies Predictions For 2015

Sep 14, 2014; St. Louis, MO, USA; Colorado Rockies starting pitcher Jordan Lyles (24) throws to a St. Louis Cardinals batter during the sixth inning at Busch Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

Soon, Rox Pile will be bringing you our Rockies 2015 season preview. That will be a little more serious. In the meantime, let’s be optimistic and have fun with five insane Rockies predictions. 

The Colorado Rockies won’t be good this year, by most accounts.

FanGraphs isn’t too fond of the club, and pretty much everybody ranks the Rockies in the basement heading into Opening Day (here, here, here, and here, to name a few).

I can’t say I disagree with them (what Rockies fan believes this team will win even 82 games?), but we can’t possibly be pessimists all summer, right?

Let’s have some fun with five insane-and-probably-not-gonna-happen Rockies predictions. They are the definition of idealistic; in a perfect world, I suppose they could happen, but in the real world, the chances of all five happening are about the same as the chances of the club acquiring David Price in a midseason trade.

Troy Tulowitzki will win MVP. 

Come one, the guy finished 25th in MVP voting last year despite only playing in 91 games. In 375 plate appearances, he got on base at a .432 clip, had 18 doubles and 21 home runs, walked 50 times against just 57 strikeouts, and had a 5.5 WAR. In 91 games. If the guy can string together 150 games at a rate anywhere near that? No question. It remains to be seen if he can play 150 games, though.

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Tyler Matzek will win 17 games.

I know, pitcher wins aren’t a perfect statistic, and I know I’ve been down on Matzek this season as a regression candidate, but what if he is as good as he showed us in the last six starts last season?

The club will need him with Jorge De La Rosa missing a couple weeks and the rest of the rotation up in the air, so let’s hope Matzek rises to the occasion.

Jordan Lyles will win 15 games.

This is the one of the five that I actually think is most likely to happen in the real world. Jordan Lyles was off to a solid start last season before his freak (non-throwing) hand injury.

Even with the injury, Lyles threw well enough last year and this spring to make himself into a starter the Rockies will depend on this summer. He’s been lights out in the spring, so let’s say that continues and he wins 15 games for the club this year.

Just by chance, I have watched him develop ever since the Astros drafted him out of high school in a small town in South Carolina; Houston brought him to the big leagues way too quickly on those terrible Astros teams of 2011 and 2012, and I’ve always felt he’d develop into a quality starting pitcher. This year will be that year.

Corey Dickerson will play well enough to trade Carlos Gonzalez.

I know, this is a whopper, but remember, insane predictions! Let’s say Corey Dickerson builds off his phenomenal season last year, and makes the Rockies realize they can get more for CarGo on the trade market right now than they could by keeping him and trying to build around his tenuous health.

Dickerson will hold down left field and come damn close to winning another batting title (losing out to Tulo, duh), which will necessitate CarGo’s move for pitching. And yes, that means Wilin Rosario would play a lot in right field.

Rex Brothers will be the Rockies’ closer by the end of the year.

Did I mention insane, idealistic predictions? Brothers is dominant when he’s on, and, well, we know what happened last year. Let’s say Rex figures it out early this summer in Albuquerque. And then let’s say Rafael Betancourt and LaTroy Hawkins take him under their veteran wings when he returns to Denver, this time for good.

Bam! The Rex Brothers are back – well, the good brother, anyways, and the evil brother will never return. Brothers saves!

But enough about my insanity. What about you?

Vote in the poll here, and tweet us your predictions @RoxPileFS using the hashtag #RoxCrystalBall (or don’t, whatevs).

Opening Day is, like, 70 hours away!!