If you read Rox Pile, you know that Colorado Rockies’ outfielder Charlie Blackmon is a staff favorite. Multiple writers have taken the time to write columns dedicated, more or less, to the fact that we think Charlie Blackmon is just kind of awesome. You can imagine our excitement, then, when Blackmon threw out a franchise-record tying six hits as the team cruised to a 12-2 victory over the Arizona Diamondbacks.
Of particular interest to the writer of this post is Blackmon’s Twitter account, where he answers to the handle @Chuck_Nazty. It is in that spirit that you will find here all of Blackmon’s six hits from his historic six-hit day, each presented with an accompanying tweet from his account.
If you’re looking for cohesive connections between the tweets and the hits, you will not enjoy this. Rather, consider this an opportunity to appreciate Blackmon’s great day and his great work on the Twitter, all at once and in one place. Try to make sense of this at your own risk, with the simple suggestion that you just enjoy the ride.
Bottom of the 1st inning: Blackmon leads off the game with a double
Beard growing 101 Beards enable deeper thought than non-beards…so deep it will make the news. pic.twitter.com/i1OZdkfCSO
— Charlie Blackmon (@Chuck_Nazty) March 1, 2014
The Rockies jumped on the Diamondbacks early after Blackmon started things off right.
Bottom of the 3rd inning: Blackmon singles to right
Went to Georgia Tech today to lift. An alum from the year after my grad class called me “Sir”. I hope that’s just my beard demanding respect
— Charlie Blackmon (@Chuck_Nazty) January 31, 2014
Nice approach, not trying to do too much, the kind of swing required from a steady lead-off man.
Bottom of the 4th inning: Blackmon hits a two-run home run*
Your welcome Twitter pic.twitter.com/dsvDwlArFB
— Charlie Blackmon (@Chuck_Nazty) January 21, 2014
This home run swing shows the kind of upside that gets overlooked with Blackmon from time to time. He has some pop.
*Important follow-up tweet:
You’re* Sorry, you deserve punctuation
— Charlie Blackmon (@Chuck_Nazty) January 22, 2014
As a human with two degrees that say “English Language and Literature” on them, or something like that, your punctuation means more to this writer than you’re ever going to appreciate (see that?).
Bottom of the 6th: Blackmon doubles to left field
Sometimes at breakfast I’ll drink my milk from a coffee cup and make serious faces if I have grown up things to do that day.
— Charlie Blackmon (@Chuck_Nazty) January 3, 2014
Also known as: Mark Trumbo defense LOL dot gif
Bottom of the 7th: Blackmon singles to right, drives in a run
If your commercial has a talking baby in it, I’m buying whatever you are selling.
— Charlie Blackmon (@Chuck_Nazty) March 23, 2014
And you thought that this, his 5th hit of the day, would be his last. Silly you.
Bottom of the 8th: Blackmon doubles to the left field corner, drives in two more runs
I am not trying to brag, but when you type in “Charlie Blackmo” on Google I’m the first name that comes up.
— Charlie Blackmon (@Chuck_Nazty) January 27, 2014
Ending the day with an impressive swing as he hits the ball the other way once again, showing an underrated part of his game in that he holds his own against LHP.
This double put Blackmon in the record books, as he is now the only Major League Baseball player ever to have six hits in a single game with three doubles and a home run. A bit obscure, perhaps, but baseball has been around so long that if you are the only person in the entire history of the game to do something, well, that’s pretty special.
Beard growing 101 1. Drinking milk helps beards grow thick 2. Flexing in the mirror gives beards a testosterone boost
— Charlie Blackmon (@Chuck_Nazty) January 18, 2014