Tulo's 2011 Goals: Gold Glove, Silver Slugger, and Rat Tail like this one.

Morning Dump -- Opening Day Disaster and the Aftermath

MISSING: Ubaldo’s fastball. Last seen around 97 MPH. If seen, please return immediately to Coors Field.

I was relieved this morning when I read that Ubaldo was having cuticle problems again. With the way he was throwing yesterday, I was starting to worry about arm trouble. Granted, his secondary stuff and his location were off, but a serious dip in velocity was the main culprit behind yesterday’s poor outing. The two home runs he gave up each came on inside fastballs. If he had his normal heat, neither Justin Upton or Miguel Montero would’ve been able to barrel up those inside pitches. Jimenez will bounce back in his next start — bet on it.

Jose Lopez made a very impressive debut. His home run was the hardest hit ball of the day. More importantly, he played an outstanding defensive game at second. I was hoping he would hit in Coors, but I never expected him to play defense like that. Why did the Mariners dump him for a marginal pitching prospect? Jim Tracy has a lot of weapons at his disposal.

Several Rockies busted out some great looks for Opening Day. First, there was Dexter Fowler and his high top fade, ala Kid from Kid and Play. Not only does it make him look fresh, the box fade adds at least three inches to Fowler’s height. Hopefully, he will keep it all season. I think they should cut out a hole on the top of his batting helmet.

Next, was Chris Iannetta and his outstanding fu manchu. I like this look for Chris. He has jettisoned the cleanly shaven, head case look of the past and has gone all rough and tumble on us. He’s like the Rockies’ version of Bull Hurley. (If you don’t get that reference, go watch Over the Top. NOW!)

Finally, there is Tulo and his little rat tail. You had to look closely, but the rat tail is there. Rox Pile is on top of the situation. Right now it’s just a little baby mouse, but Tulo’s Tail will grow rapidly. Soon, he’ll have an adult rat on the back of his head. The kind that makes your wife screech and jump on the counter top.

Iannetta stares down Upton after their collision at the plate.

Chris Iannetta took a pretty big hit from Justin Upton yesterday, but the Rockies applauded Upton’s hard play. Tulo said it was baseball at its best.

Joe Posnanski ranked the 32 best players in baseball. Apparently he hasn’t had the opportunity to see much of CarGo. He is easily one of the thirty best players in baseball.

Finally, in an effort to continue today’s Over the Top theme, I leave you with a little Kenny Loggins. That damn Sly can act, man.

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Tags: Box Cuts Bull Hurley CarGo Carlos Gonzalez Chris Iannetta's Fu Manchu Dexter Fowler Dexter Fowler's High Top Fade Joe Posnanski Justin Upton Kenny Loggins Meet Me Half Way Over The Top Rat Tail Sylvester Stalone Tulo's Rat Tail Meter Ubaldo Jimenez Ubaldo's Cuticle

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